KarmaChamelion

I have been thinking much too much recently, but some thing struck me recently. I probably need to provide a little backdrop, so here goes: It is a new year and I have decided that to stick to the resolutions that I have for myself this year, I have to make changes. Some changes are small - I am trying to eat better and while still not having made it to the gym (I blame it on the early mornings I have been putting in at work), I feel good about myself. I have made an effort to look more professional every day that I am work, which means more button downs and heels at work. And looking more professional to me also means making sure my make-up is in order, which recently has meant actually using foundation that I have invested in, instead of dialing it in with a light tinted moisturizer and some lip gloss.

And the small changes seem to make a big impression. Big enough that a couple of persons have asked me what is different about me. Because there seems to be something (according to friends and colleagues) but something that they can not seem to put their finger on. So, I have been riding this wave of being in a new year, of making it a great year, and sort of trying to work through all the feelings and thoughts I have been having about loved friends and friends I love (not the same thing). And I post to facebook an innocent little status about how amazing I am. The funny thing??? Some friends I have not heard from in ages, friends who seem to not communicate as much, came out of the woodwork and applauded (which on Fb is "liking") my current state of mind.

The thing is, it has made me consider that perhaps there is some truth to just believing that you are beautiful/smart/wonderful/wanted/etc/etc and the rest of the world seeing you that way. The people who know me, even if slightly, seem to respond well when I am most confident. When I am feeling down on life and down on myself?? Friends seem to be few and far between. At least, when I am being public about what I am feeling and thinking. So perhaps I need another resolution. One to project the lovely lovable person I am at all times; to believe that I am amazing and to make sure that those around me know it, because then maybe all the things that I am wanting and looking for in life just require an attitude adjustment.