Can't Get You Out of My Head

You know the one thing I hate about falling in like? The fact that at the most random times, you start thinking about the person you like. Whether it is because you have just checked your email/phone/facebook (or whatever other media you choose to communicate by) and that person as been in touch or just because something reminds you of them, without any external prods or pokes (and yes, that person might just be poking you on FB, but that is not what I am talking about).

So, now I fin myself thinking about people I like. I wish I could say there is one person that occupies my mind, but it is pretty crowded in there, and adding a few more persons is not going to make it any more so. So, yes, I have been thinking about the first person I really loved and how he still manages to make me smile and how glad I am that I am at a point where I can love him, without being in love with him. And it has taken a long time down a pretty difficult path for me to get to this point, with myriad detours, but still, I think its a good place.

I have been thinking about all the guys that I have fancied; the ones I have gone gaga for (why does going gaga suddenly no longer means the same thing???); the ones I have been stupid about. And I am glad that I could get so worked up over those guys who ended up not really meaning much in the long run. Because it meant I still managed to hang my heart out there and fall into like/love/lust (again, it really is sometimes hard to differentiate) and just make the most of living. Perhaps the best part - the part where suddenly someone means more to you that you thought possible and you are wondering if they maybe/possibly/might be feeling the same way.

I have been thinking about the people I dated that did not work out. And I have been thinking about where I am now and where they are now. And I have been smiling sometimes at differences that are in my favor. I know, it is all relative but sometimes, you look back and you look at where you are and you smile, because thank god, you managed to avoid - well, you managed to avoid. I think that it makes it clear.