I had a weird thought this morning - well, weird for me. And I wanted to share. While looking into the mirror, I had the sudden and unbidden thought "Why did anyone ever find me attractive?"To say the least, I was a little shocked that I actually thought that. Yes, if you have read the blog, you know that I am sometimes down on myself. And yes, if you have read the blog, then you know I am not a blonde, blue-eyed perfect sized four, but neither of those things are the point of this. More importantly, I have never looked in a mirror and doubted what other people think (thought) of me. I knocked my own attractiveness in my mind or just felt generally like the person I see in the mirror is not the person I know myself to be, but I have never doubted that I am attractive to some people and I know I am cute, even if I am not the epitome of what culture dictates.
I have thought about my thought today. I have immediately negated it and wondered why it would even come to mind. I am a little upset, especially as I have been working out for the past month and I have been feeling even more kick-ass than usual. I can see clothes are fitting a little better - okay, I am still not fitting into my "skinny" clothes - but I can see that what I wear feels more like it is hugging my curves rather than strangling them into submission.I have been noticing that it does not take my breath away to run for more than a second and my heart is not running like a jack hammer in my chest when I take a flight of stairs. For all these reasons, should not I be feeling more positive?
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