Wanted: Lead Role

I want to star in my own life. For too long, I feel as though I have been sitting back, playing the role of best friend number one or some other sort of sidekick role. I am the go-to-girl; got a problem? Go to her. She's there to listen, offer comfort and advice, and then the scene shifts, the hero/heroine walks away, and we don't hear about the go-to-girl until she's needed again.

But having been the go-to-girl all my life, I can tell you it is not about waiting in the wings. It is more seeing life flow by around you, without ever really feeling like you're experiencing it. It is about waiting for the moment where you are called on - in a crisis, in a pinch, in a lurch. But never to share the happier moments. She is there when you need her, forgotten when you don't. Until the next necessary plot device comes along.

But I am tired of waiting for the story to sail forward. I want to live the life of the leading star - I want the romance and the heartbreak. I want someone else to be the side kick so I can enjoy all the glorious, surround sound feelings that come from truly embracing all that the world has to offer. And suddenly, I am very understanding of the concept of stage fright. How can you not be afraid when you know that your character study could plump the heights and depths of emotions in a second? That experiences which hold the most thrill could also hold the most pain?