Bad Day

I am having one of those days today. You know the one - where you think about all the things you've done and all the things you could have done. Where you can look back on your life and find the joy/humour/wonderfulness is random moments but then thinking about the present, about the now makes you feel a bit like everything is tinged with a whole lot of sad.

I try not to be the person who looks back, who regrets - who wishes things could be different, things could change, things could be anything but they way they are. But in all honesty, I think sometimes you just have to have these types of days. You need to feel sorry for yourself and feel unloved and just keep thinking to yourself "why me???" and hear the sounds of the violins (or whatever your string instrument of choice may be) well behind you and just wallow in the feeling. I want to say almost revel in that sharp tang of bitterness that regret and longing seems to bring.

But I have learned, the important thing is not that I have days like these, but what I do with these types of days. If I choose to stay feeling mired in the hopelessness of my current situation, not seeing a way to change the things I want to and wishing, wishing, wishing but never realizing. Or, whether, I can shake this feeling off. Look forward to focusing on the bright, the shiny, the happy. Even knowing that if I must persist in looking back, I can at least try to focus on the happy instead of focusing on the sad.