I have spent the last day clearing out the remnants of a life I had left behind and searching through my closet for all the things I no longer need or want, I am surprised. Ten years ago, I was about the same size but seemingly, I chose to wear lots of long sleeved men's tops - hiding behind a sort of genderless identity. Even most of my pants are bought from the men's department and while yes, there is something sexy about wearing "boyfriend jeans" or something similar, that obviously was not what I was going for. Looking back, I realize that I did not think of myself as someone who could be sexy and so why not go in the completely opposite direction and become one of the guys? Perhaps more literally than figuratively...
Now, ten years on and returning from a lifetime away, I am realizing that I am more confident about the person I am. All my clothes are very feminine and in fact, often revealing. Hell, you've seen the blog photo: I love what god has given me and while it may have taken almost three deades to get here and two years living in a country where I was both exotic and curvy (UK), rather than fat and different (US), I have given in to being revealing and asserting that I am not just one of the guys. Sure, I may still talk like one of the guys - I make no qualms about the fact that I am a visiual person, that I am open about most topics that girls/women find distasteful - but I think most of my friends would agree I no longer look like one. Now, if I am slipping into "boyfriend jeans", they do literally belong to a boyfriend
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