What is power? Is power something we give others and can it be taken away? Is the ability to control how you think about and feel about something power? Do memories have power or do they lack power, except through our acknowledgment of them? I know about power games. I know that there are those who are meant to wield power, meant to be the ones who dominate and order others around, but at the same time, I also understand that those who are subservient - those who are dominated - are the ones who are truly powerful. They are the ones who can make things stop, they are the ones who hold the key to letting someone else live out a fantasy, a desire, and thus, hold the power.
So what happens if dominance is thrust upon you? What if someone made you play a role - unwillingly, unwantedly - and took the power inherent in such a role away? What does it mean to be dominated against one's will? What does it mean - if it's just a joke, just a game; can someone foist their intentions on to you as much as they can force a role?
I wish I knew the answers to this. I wish I could figure it out. And I can't. I can understand - I can take perspective, I can see when something was meant in jest. But I can not divorce my memories from my feelings. I can not make my mind think differently, because to think is to remember anger, hurt, lack of respect, loss of trust, and an overall sense of wrong - being wrong, being wronged.
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