Finding the Truth

I have been wondering recently - which is worse? To tell a lie by omission or commission? I guess one actively involves lying and the other just involves not speaking up; nothing active about it - you just 'forget' to mention one fact or the other. One involves a decision to not be forthright and the other involves a decision to deceive. And you may think that being actively engaged in untruth is worse, but I am not so sure. Even being passive has its consequences.

I am sure people will agree with me. It is not fun to be lied to, even less so when the truth finally comes to light (and doesn't it always?). And even if you get away with something, even if the lie you told ages ago never gets discovered and no one else is the wiser for it, you know. Unless you are so good at the deception game, you start to convince yourself that the lies you have told are really the truth. It is amazing how we can placate ourselves and others with falsehoods. Like little rubies and pearls that drop from our lips; we let them fall, thinking them treasures. but really, it is nothing more that viperous toads and snakes - poisoned words from a poisoned heart. No one likes being lied to, yet it seems the ones we lie to are the ones we are most likely to hurt, the ones we love the most, and the ones we should be most honest with.

So sometimes, we paint a half complete picture. Instead of marring the canvas with falsehoods and lies, we choose to only let someone have a glimpse of things. We decide what is relevant, what should be known, and we say it all. Ahhh, to hide behind the trappings of honesty and shield ourselves from scrutiny with half-remembered truth. To me, it is telling a joke without the punchline: somehow incomplete and pointless, full of misdirection. It is not less dishonest than telling someone what they want to hear or you want them to know, expect now one can hide behind a sly smile. How hard and black the heart must be that always shields itself behind half-truths, that never knows to let anyone see them completely. That knows itself like no one else knows it.

Perhaps 'honesty is the best policy' and 'the truth will set you free' and the many other platitudes we express to indicate that we do not condone lying, in any form. But life is not a string of platitudes; life is a series of lies. We lie to our friends, our family, our lovers, and ourselves; and in return, they trade in lies too. They tell us what we long to hear, want to hear, need to hear. They fill the silence with their lies, screaming to be heard. And what little honesty we share, gets wrapped in lies of gossamer gold - deceiving all in its appearance.